Psychology is my true love. I love to learn how to understand myself and others better. I have been doing it for a while now: reading, observing, reflecting. Today I can say that I have specific set of rules that I follow in daily life and when dealing with people.
The meaning of life is to be happy
(Photo: Ola Sikora)
It doesn’t mean to search for immediate pleasures. It means to live sustainable life. It’s not about feeling adrenaline every now and then but to have deep understanding that you are satisfied with yourself and your life choices that led you to the life you have. It’s about finding inner peace by unleashing your potential and doing what you love.
Balance is the key to happiness
After taking 10 days silent meditation course Vipassana I have finally experienced (‘cos I’ve heard about it before, but never really understood this concept) that balance is the path to happiness. Based on my personal life experiences I can assure you that extremes don’t do you any good. The world is not black and white, there are a lot of shades of colours in between. And that’s what makes our life interesting. Trying to reach harmony in the essential areas of life is a challenging task, but it’s a rewarding one as well.
People are important
Life lesson 1 – Surviving India together
I’ve got understanding how important people are when I was volunteering in India in 2012 with the best international team I have ever had chance to work with so far. Everything was shocking for us, everything was extreme: extremely hot, humid, dirty, it was raining every day, we could not eat the food… And one day Eric from Taiwan said: “If people here were not you, I cannot imagine how I would survive this month.” And that’s when I came to realization: it’s all about the people around you. To me the first question will be not “Where?” or “What?”, but certainly “With whom?”.
Life lesson 2 – Right people on right places
Second time I got insight about importance of people in our lives reading one of my favourite books by Jim Collins ”Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t. Together with his team he was doing research analyzing huge amount of data during 5 years and one of his conclusions was: great leaders “start by getting the right people on the bus and the right people in the right seats” first and only after that think about a strategy and everything else. Reading this was pretty insightful for me :).
Life lesson 3 – It’s not the chair that makes decision, but the personality in the chair (dah!)
Most of the times I follow rules. I like rules, they my life easier. To me, rules are like road signs: if you tell me what has to be done in order to reach the destination, I will easily get there. But reality is fool on uncertainties, especially when dealing with people.
During last few years, I started working and travelling and living in Asia. Only some time ago I got clearer understanding of what I refused to see before: it’s not about the official roles or job descriptions, it’s not the chair that makes decisions. It’s a person. Most of the time people’s actions are not defined by their positions as much as by their personality. It’s person’s character that creates new opportunities, projects, take more responsibility or, in contrary, just completes expected minimum. Human factor plays a great role in every single side of our lives. And that’s where our interpersonal skills come to action.
Less distraction, less informational noise, less things, less people. You cannot get everything. And you don’t have to. You don’t need it all.
Every one of us has only 100% of resources: time, money, energy, etc. And there are too many things in the world we can spend it on: people, places, events, jobs, hobbies… Forget about it. You don’t have time for all of that. You don’t have money. You don’t have energy. Eliminate all the unnecessary clutter in your life to be able to concentrate on the essential things that have the most meaning, that make your life fulfilled and make you happy.
Hey, I get you, I was like that as well, trying to fill my life with as many events as possible: go somewhere, meet somebody, do something… I was thinking that my life will be more colourful with all the happenings with all the emotions, new people and new information. But it wasn’t. It felt good to fit in the perception I had about myself – “productive”. But behind all those meetings, people, event’s I was losing the meaning. I was trying to escape the routine. Why? Because I didn’t like the way I lived. Later I moved to Indonesia for a year, spending every day with only one person around me. It wasn’t boring as you might think. Yes, we didn’t have a lot of friends, a lot of social outings, a lot of things to do. We even didn’t have the internet to kill the time. And it felt good, I tell you. I learned how to relax. How to live slowly. What to do if there’s nothing to do. And I love it. From that time my priorities shifted and am I more satisfied with myself. And happy.
How did you like this post? Do you agree or disagree with some of the ideas written?
What are your rules of life? Tell me what you think in comments below, I’m gonna be happy to read about it! 🙂